Dictated By My Environment

Transcribed from my yearbook from my senior year in high school (which I don't have anymore, which is unfortunate for these purposes). 

It was fascinating to read what people said to me, even in joking, and consider how I was perceived by others, what defined me to them. It's pretty depressing but I think significant nonetheless.

And the people almost can't be blamed because I can say unequivocally that I perpetuated this perception in my actions and my willingness to be perceived this way.  "Any publicity is good publicity", am I right? It was my shtick, just like the class-clown has a shtick. That's what happens in a homogeneous environment when you exist as an "outsider"; you are defined by that more than anything else.

And so:

“Blackzilla-

            I’m really glad I met you this year!!  You are an awesome Negro!  Soccer was fun, Vice was better!  We need to hang out over the summer!  You better call me! I <3 you more than I <3 unblack people”

“Yo Blackie its me Whitey (N___ the mediterrainin kid)  dude lets hang out”

“Jesse,

            Your such a Niger.  One day your monkey ass and me should smoke one day.  Hope you don’t turn out to be gay when you get older.  You should call me and we should chill.  Hope you have a good summer.”

“Jesse your black and that’s all that matters.  I love you and keep it real.  I’m gay??”

“Jesse –

            You’re a loser.  I’m like the third person to sign this book and it’s the last day of school.  Anyways it was cool having two easy classes with you and making fun of Phil, Eric, and Chasen.  Good luck where ever you may go to college.  Hopefully you will get some and in mass quantities.  Peace out my black-mexican friend.”